Blow your cool

And to think I was going to wax all funny and poetic about the poster at Winchell’s – the one that says, “With a donut in each hand, anything is possible.”
Until the fuckstick called to complain about a picture in the paper.
Which has derailed a perfectly good mood.
I was the third call he made about it (and I doubt it was his last).
The picture shows a guy holding up a steelhead for a picture before releasing it back into the river (steelhead are a protected species in Northern California - but you can still catch them).
“You OK’d that?” he asked.
“Yes, I did, we run pictures of big fish and trophy game.”
“That was the worst thing I think I have ever seen. It is your responsibility not to show stuff like that – people see that and condone it as the way you’re supposed to handle a fish.”
He called Fish and Game to report a crime (“Trust me, they are very interested in citing this guy.”) He called the local fly shop to protest – and rally support for them to call an complain.
(I wish I had that much free fucking time).
“I could run – every day – the proper way to catch-and-release a fish, and someone is going to do it wrong,” I said. “If you feel strongly about it, write a letter to the editor.”
“I’ll write a letter to the editor, you bet I will. You’re a jerk.”
It was a 10-minute conversation (where I nearly lost my cool and rained a flurry of F-bombs on this prick - thank goodness for a little release valve called Surface Tension).
For fucksakes, kids are getting killed with sickening regularity in Iraq, gas is over $3 a gallon again for no good fucking reason, genocide in Darfur (huh, where’s that?) and AIDS is killing millions in Africa. The world is going to fucking Hell in short fucking order.
And this guy’s life has been turned upside-down Thursday over a fish (and so has mine, which pisses me off to no end).
At the end of the day, it's a fucking fish.
Go get yourself a fucking life.

4 comments:

rapids runner said...

Oh sure the DFG could probably cite a tax-paying citizen for apparently mishandling a steelhead but they have no backbone when it comes to standing up to the BLM. Neither bureaucracy has credibility in my book.

RachelRenae said...

A relevant but not very mean haiku:

World turned upside-down
It's easy to get caught up
But it's just a fish!

Stevo said...

I can't wait to read the letters to the editor.

I wonder if that guy rides horses too....

carl said...

I have to throw in a couple haikus too.

A mishandled fish
Is “The worst thing you have seen”?
Open your eyes, jerk!

The worst you have seen?
You must have selective sight
In a hell-bound world.