The reality and the perception

Reality is the state of being actual or real; it also is the state of the world as it is, not as you wish it to be.
Perception is a way of conceiving something; usually by the senses, or by casual observation.
I had a discussion about both Friday night with a friend. And how in certain environments, the two seldom meet equally. That the reality gets swallowed up by the perception of what people see and hear for the briefest of periods.
"And that," he said, "Is where things get fucked up."

I am a realist. I see the world for what it is - not what I want it to be (that's what daydreams are for.) And all this real life, some of the time, makes me crazy angry.

(My parents were fond of saying, "Life isn't fair;" to which I replied, "Yeah, but it could be." As I realist, I know the first to be true; but as an optimist, I still hold out hope for the latter.)

Because the perception of others - the ones who know nothing about me or my life or my beliefs or my situation - are such that they only see snippets of a life that they perceive to be one big fucking party.
The reality is, I choose to lead my life by a strict code of dedication, duty, honor, faith, love, laughter, hard work and truth.
I do not do anything half-assed. That is the reality. Whether it is cooking a dinner for friends or writing a story (or blogging), I hold myself up to a standard that no one else could possibly match.
And with that, I've never had anything handed to me. I've worked - really fucking hard - for every single thing in my life. Thank God for parents who were realists too, yet let their son, who by their own admission marched to the beat of a different drummer, find his own path in this world. By instilling a great dose of reality - yet teaching him to be open to conceive a world view gained by all the senses. Perceive the world as it is not by a casual glance, but getting down and dirty in all the senses over vast amounts of time.
My friends - the ones who are closest to me and who have gained a perception of me by spending time with me and know what I'm really about - know this to be true. They know me to be a person wealthy in substance, in honor, in faith, in love and laughter.
And yet they don't understand, they can't fathom, why someone's quick perception of me from a casual glance or a short conversation should bother me so.
"Why do you care?"
"It's their loss."
"Fuck 'em, if they don't want to get to know you."

The reality is how the casual observer picks up his or her perception of my world. How I joke, or how I work (or seem to not work; try having a job where the lines are so blurred with your life that you never quite know where one ends and one begins. It is an exceptional situation where real life becomes work and work becomes real life and there is no longer a time clock you punch to travel between the two.)
I'm a smartass and I like to have fun and I like to keep things light. But I don't take anything for granted. If you want something in this life, you're going to have to bust your ass for it. It is as simple as that.
But oh, those perceptions. What you see or hear briefly isn't a true gauge of who someone is. Especially me. I'm deep, way too deep for some people who only want to judge the surface.
And that is why perceptions cause my teeth to grind. Because it seems like those quickly gained perceptions lead to policy. And the reality is, I function perfectly fine on my own - because I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. Just leave me the fuck alone and everything will be alright. Trust me on this one.

That is the reality and not the perception.

But if you're curious and you don't really know me (and have a perception of me from a certain time and place frozen in your memory), I offer a challenge: Hang with me for a day. All of 24 fucking hours. See how I interact, how I work, how I play and how I conduct both my private and public life. How I carry myself in the real world.
But the reality is, that's never going to happen. No one is going to take that challenge.
Because reality is tough. It is hard work.
And perceptions are too easily formed.

Comments

svojoh said…
Pick me up at the airport July 28th 6:43 United. I challenge you.
Is that a.m. or p.m.?

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