My mantra

According to Laurence Gonzales in “Deep Survival,” successful survivors develop a mantra.
And I desperately wanted a mantra.
“It can be anything,” Gonzalez writes. “(Steve) Callahan’s seems to have been nothing more than the word ‘survival’ itself. Over and over again, he’s say something like, ‘Concentrate on now, on survival.’”
This life is a journey of discovery. I fully understand that obstacles have been places in my path for a higher purpose. That I will scale these hurdles (I always do, brilliantly), and I will be a better person for it.
But the pressures weigh heavy – and have been getting heavier even since I got off that AirBus A318 Monday in Sacramento. I struggle to see the path.
I knew Monday morning that things were not going to be good when I returned from Nebraska.
I dry-heaved until my dad called to ask if I was OK.
“Doing good,” I lied.
I dry heave to mask the emotions I need to feel to successfully get through all this.
Tuesday, I got up and just repeated, “Enough, that’s enough now.”
I did not dry heave (but I did have a couple of good cries on Tuesday as waves of emotion flowed through me).
Wednesday, I did it again.
“Enough, that’s enough now.”
Two days, no dry heaves.
The pressure I currently face is enormous (whether it is of my making or not). So far, so good, in facing it. Feeling it.
Forgetting it.
It’s good to have the mantra.
“Enough, that’s enough now.”

2 comments:

Beth said...

Hi it's good to find a mantra that switches off emotions and helps you survive. Mine was "Well I can always run over him with my car later!" yours is alot more balanced!

Skigirl said...

You've now got me thinking. I've never had a mantra but probaby about time I did.

I'll let you know when I've come up with a good and relevant one.