Monday fiction, in 58 words

I started Fiction in 58 to try and see if it was possible to tell a story in a small space. It's a good exercise and you're free to try it yourself.

He sleeps on a little slice of the oversized bed, the remains of a once happier time.
He vows to spread out, sleep in the middle maybe, or something crazy, like crosswise. But for now, he hugs the edge on his side.
He’s decided to take baby steps, wobbly small.
She been dead for a year, why rush?


Cathryn said...

Excellent. A sharp pain in my throat at the end.

George S Batty said...

your a natural. first try...I'd give you a 10. great switch. I was sure it would be about a dog

George S Batty said...

Old Grizz doesn't read to well. You have been doing this for a while now and quite well I may add. I still give you a 10 for the "bed"

George S Batty said...

ok, I gave it a try. How's this

the music moved her soul
her soul moved her body
her hips swayed with the music
her breast moved in rhythm
he watched her from a distance
a lustful look burned the night air
the memories of youth returned
an old desire burned in his groin
dam, he thought, it would be nice to be young again

missalister said...

Real nice, Thom : )

Liked yours, too, Old Grizz.