It's fiction, but in 58 words

An exercise in brevity.

Unprepared

She studies the rust spots on the ancient clawfoot tub, tears in her eyes.
Above the lavender-scented bubbles, juts the rise of her belly; an island of olive-colored skin. She wipes a wet cloth over the rise, watches the track of baby oil beads.
She’s 16, on the cusp of adulthood.
Nowhere ready.
“Baby,” she whispers.

Comments

Sepiru Chris said…
Criminy.

First its a drabble, now a drab.

If anything with more poignancy.

Have I mentioned haiku before...

Congratulations.
Noah the Great said…
Ooh. This is intense.

The fiction in 58 mambo is rather fun. :D
Noah the Great said…
Ooh. This is intense.

The fiction in 58 mambo is rather fun. :D
Anonymous said…
So full of everything that ever was sweet and sad, this one moment, captured by these very few words. Very nice : )
Anonymous said…
You have very beautifully captured feelings in short and concise story, great work.

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