In 58 (words) a short story

Just a short slip of fiction for your reading pleasure (or deep analysis).

His eyes snap open, like a light switch, illumination. But instead of enlightenment, there’s confusion.
He listens to the couple in Three tussle; shouts, the bump of flesh shoved into door frames, furniture.
He slips a pillow over his ears; there’s no insulation for the symphony of rage.
He’s helpless, again the little boy tucked in cowboy sheets.


Sepiru Chris said...

Fantastic. And... In the second sentence do you mean "they're confused" or "there's confusion".

Personally I prefer the first, but I am sure there is a typo. If there is not a typo, I am confused.

"...symphony of rage" is a perfect phrase, it so evocative and lets the reader flesh it out as every reader can--bringing personal memories into the story so that each of us can claim it as speaking to us.

So compelling, so powerful...

And that last sentence is also great because we can all imagine it. Wowser dowser. Great story.

ThomG said...

No, just a typo. It's corrected, thanks.

Noah the Great said...

I quite enjoy the 58 word fun as well. Hopefully I'll be able to hide something in the words as well as you do sometime.

quin browne said...