Two Piasters for a Gloomy Day

Black-Eyed Susan has started a new blog, The Last Piaster, where she and U.S. Parker use prompts to get the creative juices of everyone's internal poet to simmer to the surface.
"
The wonderful thing about writing poems is that you never quite get there," she writes as a way of introduction to the endeavor. "Like many things worth doing, the journey is far more important than the destination."
I couldn't agree more.

I rolled the first two prompts into one post:

Piaster 01, Imagery

Rippled surface, a tension gashed,
diminutive swells from a centric crash,
reverberate with the nothingness of shadows,
and spread delicate on the calm of time.

Piaster O2, The Scene

Trepidation gives the slinky blackness a living despair,
the terror of a moonless dive off piers into salty surf.

Darkness, like tendrils of smoke, pulsate from the depths,
dread with every scuffed step on ancient, creaky tread.

The cold wriggles like gauze drawn along exposed flesh,
Dimples, goose-bumps rise uniform with each icy step.

Breath taken in greedy gulps that match heart thumps,
a landing reached, gritty scrapes of leather on concrete.

Gloom settles like water’s weight on submerged bodies,
chased away with the amber glow of incandescent bulbs.

8 comments:

Jason said...

Both of those would make killer lyrics for your art-punk-rock band. I dig it.

RachelRenae said...

Wonderful. The 5th, 6th, and last two lines are my favorites.

susan said...

Thom,

Talk about taking on a challenge. There's a problem though with part 1, you've used a few taboo words.

Thanks for the nod. Might have more to say after a few reads.

While I appreciate the credit, U.P. writes all the commentary.

ThomG said...

Susan, I'm looking at the taboo list and can't see where I've erred.

Large Marge said...

Chrissake, do you just sit around on your ass and write poetry all day??? It's snowing, you should be snowshoeing ;-)

uNCLE e said...

Very nice job, Thom.
Just came across a fiction blog you may find interesting...let me know what you think!

http://tgeorge12345.blogspot.com/

tumblewords said...

Urged to constructively comment (which I dislike), I shall try:

Imagery: the first two lines are neat, the third line, I'd change to shadow.

The Scene: Line 2, suggest 'dive off a pier'
S4,L2 - love the gritty scrapes...

Nice stuff, in my humble opinion!

ThomG said...

Tumblewords, I take your ideas to heart. Thanks.