Rings in the key of cool

The world is a troubled place and these are troubled times.
In the U.S., there’s the mess(es) made by a President no one really elected (twice), economic times that have millions on the brink of disaster and I can’t even begin to count the global problems like Darfur and Iraq and Iran.
It’s a mess out there.
But I’m having a hard time focusing on the big picture.
Because I’m trying to determine what ringtone defines me as a person.
I got a new smart phone for Christmas. I haven’t pushed all the buttons yet, but I’m pretty sure one controls the weather and somewhere there’s the option to order in a hot, fresh Margherita pizza direct from Sicily if I so choose.
It is my one-and-only phone in the world. I am mobile, global - man-'o-the-world.
And when my phone rings, this lame music comes on (I think I finally broke down and chose “mirror,” which sounds like a cover of a bad 80s hair band).
I tend to answer very quickly.
Come to think of it, all the ringtones included in the phone suck.
“Ringtones are so gay,” a friend said.
Yeah, like I know that already.
I’d like my phone to just ring. Except the one named “ring, ring” sounds a lot like what you’d get if you stuck a smoldering soldering iron up a badger’s ass – and backed it out slowly (or something like that). It is one unholy ring. It cascades from there. Tropical bullshit? Pass. Chirping? I don’t want to get punched. Bach. Bach?
It’s a dilemma.
A ringtone is a personal thing (not to mention that I can have different ringtones for all my friends and jeez, let’s not even talk about that pressure) and you don’t want to end up looking like a goob when the mobile goes off in public. You’d like it to go off and have people turn in awe and secretly comment to their friends and loved ones on how super-cool you really are.
A punk tune would be nice. But then I’m thinking, “Doesn’t that smack of sell-out?” Besides, I looked for a Dead Kennedys ringtone (the guitar in “Moon Over Marin” would be pleasant) and didn’t have much luck.
There's a lot going on with a ringtone. Least of which that defining moment, a brief glimpse into the mind of someone so embolden that he chose that for his mobile ringer.
That's what I'm talking about.
The Replacements, Social Distortion (which, funny enough, is the incoming ringtone for me on someone else’s mobile), Ramones, Black Flag, Pixies…
I am very clenched by all this.

6 comments:

RachelRenae said...

Good morning, Thomg! I'm ashamed that this is the first time I've been by in quite a while.

My ringtone, thought I'm not sure it's a good option for you, is Brick House. Does it define me as a person? Not SO much. But do I want to dance whenever my phone rings? Absolutely.

ThomG said...

No probs, R&R, glad that you are back. "Brick House" gave me pause; what about "Kung Fu Fighting?"

RachelRenae said...

Now you're thinking.

Jason said...

You've heard my ring-tone... the theme from Death Proof. I might be able to help you make one.

ThomG said...

Death Proof? Say, that's pretty cool. I do want the heps, man.

uNCLE e said...

I have been looking for Double Dare by Bauhaus. Or the beginning to Ben Folds lounge version of the Flaming Lips song 'She Don't Use Jelly'...but, if you find Moon Over Marin the guirtar in RIOT would be cool, also!), let me know, will ya?