Static cling (it's fear)

It’s killing me.
Not just the consistent buzz – the low hum – that causes interference in my life.
The other meaning.
Motionless: not moving or changing, or fixed in position.
I am beginning to get very paranoid about being motionless.
Not in a create-a-butt-crease-in-the-couch motionless, but being in a fixed position.
If I don’t affect change in my life, turn down the static and go dynamic (the opposite of static), I’m going to get another cosmic jackhammer reminder. One big fucking life wedgie.
And I am beat down.
I really am.
I’ve had about as many cosmic kicks I’d like. For a lifetime.
All I can say is that I am working toward a future.
The paranoia has had a most distasteful side affect: negativity.
My view of the world is a bit tainted, from time to time, with negative energies.
Look, people are concerned about me. More than I even thought possible. They ask – and I give them an honest answer.
And it comes out negative.
Fucking pisses me off.
Because I’m not, I don’t feel, negative.
It’s the static thing again. Forward motion means no wedgie, no negativity.

Oh, for those scoring at home, I have been divorced (officially) for a week now. Don’t know why I didn’t mention it last week.
And since, I’ve had people – actually, all women - ask me, “How does it feel to be single?”
Feels just fine.