Sunday Scribblings, Adventure

The prompt over at Sunday Scribblings is “adventure.”

Pirates
I go down to breakfast to find my parents dressed as pirates. The smell of rum and grilled meat hangs heavy in the air.
“Little early for Halloween, isn’t it,” I say. “And I know it’s much to early for Miller Time.”
“Arrrgghhhhh,” dad says, raising a pewter mug to his lips.
“Hold yer tongue, laddy,” mother says, crossing her throat menacingly with a jewel-encrusted dagger. “Our you’ll be feeling yer mother’s wrath.”
I shrug and fill a bowl with cereal. Crowding the milk in the fridge are all sorts of provisions – dried beef, citrus fruits, a cask of lard. Near the back door are sacks of flour and sugar, as well as several barrels labeled rum.
“Going somewhere?”
“Arrrrgggghhhh,” dad says as his head makes a meaty thud as he passes out.
“We be fixin’ to put to sea, just as soon as thee breakfast dishes be done,” mother says. “The high seas be callin’ to us.”
“Well, isn’t that going to be a little tough?” I ask. “Considering we live Kansas?”
“Aye, we be takin’ the minivan.”
I look out the window to the drive and see that my mother’s Chrysler Caravan as been outfitted with a deck, sails and replacing the emblem on the hood is now a scantily-clad woman carved out of oak.
“Count me out,” I say. “Way out.”
“Ye have no sense of adventure,” mother says. “And to think, you be a work of me own loins.”

11 comments:

Dee Martin said...

HA this just cracked me up. Have you set your facebook language to pirate to get in the mood??
Love the mini-van decor. I guess those Kansas fields finally got to them!

Tumblewords: said...

Love it - sometimes the prairie just flat flippin' gets to ya. The mother character is wonderful, wonderful.

Lucy said...

THOM!! you crazy bastard! hahah
WHERE did you get this idea from?
too too funny! Especially that my hub and I dressed as pirates for halloween and were annoying our kids by getting into our roles a bit too much. Too bad we didn't get our car jazzed up like this minivan!
Love your writing, humor and wit!

Granny Smith said...

Well, shiver me timbers, but this is just great! What delightful nonsense!

Giggles said...

OMG this is hilarious!! Well done! I think I spy a few of me relatives in the mix!! haha!! Loved it, reminds me of the sixties and seventies!!!lol

peggy said...

Shiver me timbers (what the hell does that mean, anyways?) but you've got yourself a fun story here, Thom!

Clever, witty and visual. I like visual. and I like dad's head hitting the table with a thud. Not just adventure, maybe a little too much rum!

gautami tripathy said...

ThomG, I almost fell of my chair! I love the mother!

deathly adventure

Also don't forget to post any of your creative works at Monday Poetry Train Revisited!

oldegg said...

I think my wife thought I was crackers grinning like a fool as I stared at the computer screen reading your piece. What a delight it was.

Jeeves said...

:D

Americanising Desi said...

you are clever and witty and so darn hilarious :D
i love all your prompts cuz u r so darn original!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Sometimes, you need a sense of adventure just to navigate life. I swear it!

This was a totally fun piece, Thom!