Don't bare your soul to strangers

A little piece of fiction for your Monday.

Street Therapy

“When I see someone in a neck brace, I want to scream, ‘Hey you!’ so they turn their head and I get to see the pain in their eyes.”
“When I was little, I set fire to the neighbor’s puppy. I can’t look at dogs at all now.”
“When I talk to my mom, I’m OK, but if I text her, I get a raging erection. That’s not one of those Oedipus things, do you think?”
“If you don’t stop, I’m calling a cop,” the woman on the bus-stop bench hisses. “Leave me alone, you freak.”
I get up and walk away satisfied and alive; I can usually get people to listen to my shit for a good five minutes before invading their comfortable sensibilities and leave swiftly before entanglements with the authorities arise.
And it beats the $250 an hour my therapist charges uptown.

3 comments:

j.c. montgomery said...

Geez dude. I'd say how sickenly good this is....and it is....but so damn true!!!

Hope alls going well with the stuff you're dealing with...been thinking of you...

JC

Jason said...

Awesome... I love the premise and the mom-text-erection part. It is hilarious.

Septic said...

Or sneaking up behind blind people waiting at a red light and going with me tongue "click click click click click...." to see if they'll go. Typically only takes one step...