While away, my life gets planned

Emails like this are like getting that big Publisher's Clearninghouse envelope with Ed McManon's picture on it:

You o.k. out there? Is skunk stench out of your nostrils yet?

Well, just wanted to let you know I've planned your life for you while you're
away...

Here's the steps to the Promised Land, T Daddy:

Step 1. Finalize your FUCKING Divorce!!!!
Step 2: Borrow guitar, join rock band, and write songs with Wing-Gal and Dyar.
Step 3: Get out of debt.
Step 4: Buy motorcycle.
Step 5: Get out of more debt.
Step 6: Buy eye candy of the moment some bad-ass Harley attire and put her on the back of your bike; they'll all look fabulous ;-)
Step 7: Ride your bike around, a lot, with eye candy of the moment and your new guitar.
Step 8: Start writing book as soon you're divorced, as in ON THE DAY YOUR
DIVORCE IS FINALIZED you WILL start writing a book about all your life
experiences to date. This is not an option, it is a direct order from Wing-Gal.
I still haven't come up with a title yet, but I'm sure I will have it figured
out by the time your divorce is finalized. ;-) I think “Surface Tension” would
probably be a great book name, actually. Either that, or “I’ve Planned Your Life While You Were Out.”
Step 9: Get out of debt some more, and start marketing/selling your CURRENT
book more!!!
Step 10: Sell your next book, become a paid blogger on the side, and get
fucking rich and happy.
Step 11: Take a lot of vacations, and travel more.

Amen, brotha.

Forget Publisher’s Clearinghouse; emails like this make me smile.
(Most) everyone is on my side, has my back, and that feels wonderous.

0 comments: