A little bit of fiction

I wrote this for publication somewhere else, but it may or may not have been turned down. Not sure.
See what you think:

The punch in the mouth was expected really, standing there in front of the woman who takes your picture at the DMV; unexpected was the tears, the profuse apology once she calmed down.
Expected, too, are the angry stares at doctor’s offices, the Jiffy Lube, restaurants that call out your name when your seats are ready.
Not that I blame anybody, not at all - unfortunate happenstance, really.
My parents, devout Catholic missionaries, probably thought they were doing the just thing, pious and sincere; I wouldn’t know, as they were killed and eaten by a fierce tribe of Asmats in New Guinea before I got old enough to question their motives.
Jesus H. Christ.
Yep, that’s my given, Christian name.


alister said...

Ha! Yeah, that was good, alright! Made me laugh and shake my head at your never-ending genius. And it made me think back… There are innumerable short shorts of yours that would be so hot for publication. Favorites that stand out in my mind are Just Passing Time, Counter Angel, Adam’s Rib…but your stuff’s getting even better and better than that, so anything now is fair game. Really, there’s not one that couldn’t be submitted as is or fixed up some. You know, I can’t help but think there’s a need out there for slap-dashes of fiction before we go off to work. Like Scott Adams’ strip and Dave Berry’s shit, your shorts need to be syndicated!!!

susan said...

Hey, Thom.

You won at Little Lov'n Monday. You didn't claim your prize. Check the list here.

Thanks for participating.

LadyGarfield said...

killed AND eaten?! gosh! that was good fun.