Let's all hibernate

Grizzly and black bears have it easy.
They hibernate for the winter – they’ll slow themselves down to take one breath every 45 seconds – and will actually gain lean muscle mass while they sleep.
(The truth about hibernation: Bears make a plug of hair, intestinal cells, poop and den materials so they don’t soil their beds; they still make pee-pee and poopy, but their bodies recycle it. Which is just way-cool.)

It gets cold and dark, and I want to hibernate, too (except for that plug thing, sleeping until daylight-saving time sounds like a weiner).
I slow down. I want to eat things I know are bad for me.
I in no way want to break a sweat.

These are the days when I need the swift boot to the backside.