Going cross on my own ass

"Dear Lord, lemme finish this lap, and I'll never swear again."
"Shit, ooops, shit, I mean, shoot, sorry, sorry, my bad, didn't mean it."
"Shit, this is a long course. Toto, have you seen the Tin Man?"

I completed my first-ever cyclocross race Sunday.

"Dear Lord, I meant what I said, lemme finish the second lap and I'll never, ever curse. I mean it, really this time.
"Is piss a curse? I don't think so. Piss, this hurts. Piss, piss, piss. Pissy piss piss piss."

Cyclocross is mountain biking and an obstacle course. It is a timed event. I rode the C class. Beginners. Thirty minutes to complete as many laps as I could.

"Dear Lord, please do not let me puke. That banana and the coffee is not going to be pleasant coming back up."
"Lord, scratch that, please let me hork up a lung. If I hork up a lung, they'll have to make me stop - and I'll look good doing it."

I did not finish last, which was my goal. I did not win, which I knew was next to impossible. I hadn't even been in the saddle for a month before the race.

"You know, the thing about cyclocross is, the hurt has a time limit," said a mountain biking buddy. "When the time is up, the hurt is up.
"But when you're out there, you are going to hurt."

Surprisingly, I don't hurt all that bad. I finished and feel good about it (knock that one off 43 Things list). Nearly 100 riders came out, there was a band and my friends were there. When I wasn't deliriously looking to barf up a lung, I could hear people ringing cowbells and giving me encouragement.
The party atmosphere was amazing.

Two weeks to practice for the next timed mayhem.
J-Zone makes hopping logs so damn easy.
I walked the same log.


Schteve said...

T-Daddy you did great! I'm glad you got out there to try cx. It's addicting. By next year you'll have a cross bike.

Large Marge said...

Well done, especially for a wanker-ass such as yourself ;-) Har, har

~ Kerri ~ said...

Go ThomG!!! That is awesome. Congratulations. What's going to replace that on the 43 Things now?

fuzzballdaddy said...

Tee-riffic!!! I must say that going out there and busting the "Surface Tension" of the CX game takes alot of courage. Good job! Now keep coming back for more lung bustin', breakfast blowin' good times! You're in the club!