Warning: Introspective post ahead

It happens whilst mopping.
Not every time, just sometimes.
The arc of the mop, the hot water, I get to thinking.
And thinking leads to…well, not so much as an epiphany, but a time of conscious reflection.
A plan of action.

Outward looking in, people probably think I have the life. And I do. I am happier now, in a sense, than I’ve been in years (just a different happiness). I have worked hard on myself and the results are good.
Maybe I’m finally growing up. Becoming the man I really always wanted to be.
One who now knows that it’s OK to be that 12-year-old kid, free and fearless and able to succeed at anything and everything he cares to try.

Inward looking out, I love my life. I love how it seems to be evolving. For the better.
It doesn’t mean, however, that it is easy. Life seldom is. And I’ve got a lot of shit going on right know. I won’t bore you with the particular details, suffice it to say that I have deep woes and worries. Problems that seemingly have no solutions.

The mop moves back and forth over the linoleum and I plot and plan. I make decisions based on what is best for me. I set timelines, deadlines, goals.
They all seem to make sense. I get a sense of wonderment about starting all the projects in my head.
Some will happen.
Some will not.
And I will celebrate the things I can do, without beating myself up for the things I cannot do.
But will try anyway.
That’s the trick about mop epiphanies; you can possibly have more, the next time the floor needs a good cleaning.


TheRobRogers said...

Hey, I like the new banner.

And I guess mopping ain't such a bad thing