Sleep refuses to visit. For more than a few hours, anyway.
Friends tell me I'm stressed out. They tell me it is a sign that my mind is crisis.
They tell me to try a nightcap.
Warm milk.
Read a book by low-light.
Prescription sleep aids (which I appreciate, but there the ones that cause sleep-eating and sleep-driving, so the three given remain in the Ziploc sammich bag they were brought it; I don't want to go skitzo or anything).

I go to sleep just fine.
I then wake up. Hell, I feel rested.
Problem is, 3 a.m. is no time to get up.
So I stay in bed and try to find a comfortable spot and relax. think happy thoughts.
I guess i could use the time to my benefit. Work, write, clean house. But I'm fearful of that, too. What if I start getting up when my body thinks it needs to get up and I create myself an alternate reality? That would be bad.

A friend told me that my circadian rhythm was off. Probably. That's the body's 24-hour clock. I looked it up. I am having an irregular sleep-wake pattern.
The interesting thing is, research into chronobiology (there's a short-story in that subject) found that all cells in the body carry the circadian rhythm; but some respond to light and some - namely liver cells - respond to feeding.
That's where I'm all fucked up.
I don't have the whole of myself balanced.
I don't eat regularly.
Which throws off my workouts, hell, my work.
And I don't sleep.

It's interesting to know what you need to do to be a healthy, functioning human. Then ignore the fuck out of it.


Kelly said...


I have snuck into your blog before but Im not sure if I have ever posted. I found you through Beth.

I had to comment on this:) It is 4 am here and yep I am awake on the computer- having insomnia for almost 8 years is a drag. I think I know what your precription is (Ambien?) I have been given Zopiclone- I thikn it is Lunesta in the US.

You are right- it is amazing how people can function on little sleep. The best natural thing I have tried is Tryptophan or H5- HTP to boost your serotonin. Melotonin never worked for me-

Anyway- good luck. Insomnia sucks bigtime and a horrible pattern.

Oh- and for the sleep eating- been there. ugh.

Anonymous said...

If insomnia is wreaking havoc in your life and in spite of your consistent efforts you are unable to sleep at night, you should soon approach a doctor. After a thorough examination, your physician may prescribe sleep inducing medicines such as ambien or sonata. However these medicines should never be taken without a proper prescription from a doctor as they tend to yield side-effects which at times can be serious.