I am rabbit

For the first few days of being back home, I think, “Hey, I could live here, be close to my dad, my siblings.”
Then I realized how seriously fucked those kinds of thoughts really are.
Especially when you’re trapped inside your dad’s home – because it is 9 degrees out (with a wind chill of –7 degrees) at 2 p.m. (that’s –13 degrees Celsius, with a wind chill of –22 degrees) – and there’s nothing to do but read, watch TV or blog.
But you can’t blog, because there is no stimuli to feed the brain.
So you end up with crap.
Which this post is turning out to be.
I freely admit, the highlight of my day, so far, has been running to Wal-Mart to pick up my dad’s prescription (yea, more Vicodin!), buy him a box of Fixodent for his dentures and pick up a package of bratwurst for Wednesday night’s dinner (a dad request).
Then, I took the Chrysler through the car wash.
I’m all a tingly now.
So, we here at Surface Tension are not above ripping off others to entertain.
Over at SkiGirl’s place in England, she writes that SkiChild is learning about the Chinese New Year (it’s Feb. 18).
They also discussed Chinese astrology (made up of 12 animal signs). Each animal (person) gets along better with certain other animals (people). SkiChild is a rabbit.
“Mum, I have to marry a pig or a dog.”
I am a rabbit as well.
I looked it up, and a rabbit’s best matches for everlasting love are goats and pigs (so that means women, if you were born in either 1967 or 1971 I’m interested – in six to eight months).
Astrology. Bunch of cockamamie bullshit, right?
It’s testicle-freezing weather out – so you do some research, and you find out that there’s some truth in what they say about your Chinese astrological sign (thanks to the folks at Astronomy.com):
“Timid and attractive, the Rabbits of the Chinese Zodiac tend to act more like bunnies, whether they like it or not! This Sign is extremely popular and has a wide circle of family and friends. Its compassionate nature leads it to be very protective of those it holds dear, but where romance is concerned, the Rabbit's sentimentality can lead it to idealize relationships. The sweet, sensitive Rabbit often ends up giving more of itself to a partner than is realistic or healthy. The good news is, when this Sign goes off-balance, the Rabbit's core group of friends and its stable home life help bring it back to center.
“The Rabbit is a rather delicate Sign that needs a solid base in order to thrive. Lacking close, supportive friends and family, the Rabbit might just break down in tears at the first sign of conflict. Emotional upsets in this Sign's life can even lead to physical illnesses. Rabbits dislike arguments and other conflict and will try anything to avoid a fight; this results in something of a pushover nature. Rabbits can also lapse into pessimism and may seem stuck in life - often to mask their insecure natures. Rabbits tend to move through life's lessons at their own, rather contemplative pace; it's a waste of time to become exasperated with this Sign's seeming disinterest in facing its problems and conquering them.
“With the right partner - meaning someone whose high principles won't allow it to take advantage of this sensitive, giving Sign - the Rabbit can make an incredibly loving and protective partner or family member. Rabbits love to entertain at home and always make sure their house is comfortable and tastefully-furnished. What Rabbits need most is a stronger sense of self-worth and the security that comes with it. Their discerning natures, coupled with some hard-won assertiveness, will help these happy creatures go far.”
I checked out certain family and friends, and their signs were telling as well. Spot-on, in most cases.
And you put a bit of credence in this stuff.
For love, what’s the absolute worst sign for me?
The rooster.
My soon-to-be ex-wife is a rooster.
(Note to self: Check with Chinese astrology before going back into the dating pool).

2 comments:

TheRobRogers said...

And to think, if you'd just spent more time reading the place mats at Chinese restaurants...

Hey guess what? I'm a Rabbit.

Skigirl said...

And read your fortune cookies.....