Wednesday's Three Word Wednesday

The words over at Three Word Wednesday are burden, natural and ubiquitous. I opted for a double Cinquain, a poem in two, five lines.

Ubiquitous grayness
bind my burdens tight,
it’s only natural, they say,
for hot tears to stream, natural;
I can’t

Bearing loads
not meant for children,
hands clasped on shoulders try,
it’s cold comfort at best, but
I persevere

16 comments:

Jeeves said...

This is one of your best. Really love this

Shadow said...

you are good at this! really good!

sudharm baxi said...

It is always good to know the technicalities of poetry (Cinquain)

and surely a good piece..

anthonynorth said...

Nicely done. Powerful words.

Jacqueline said...

Powerful imagery, I can see him hugging himself tight.

Anonymous said...

outstanding, concise poetry

terrific!

maintain radio contact. . .

Tumblewords: said...

Beautifully poignant work. To me, it speaks of where you are at this time...the perseverance sees one through. Bittersweet.

pjd said...

loads not meant for children

I like the parallelism of
I can't
I persevere
and also of the hot/cold references. Very subtle, yet effective.

Pretty Me!! said...

this is soo much good :) n a surprise for me ;)

Megha said...

Very touching!!
Keep writing :)

jay said...

I have to bow to one who can write poetry. It isn't one of my skills, that's for sure!

Angel said...

Sadness and Strength!

Sepiru Chris said...

Thom,

Do you want bind or binds? I read it with binds, but if the subject is speaking to the grayness then he could be speaking in the imperative.

Both work, although I see binds.

Which is it.

(And it is another fantastic work.)

Tschuess,
Chris

bunnygirl said...

Very well done, and very evocative of that place we inevitably find ourselves in, where we can't, but we must, so we do.

one more believer said...

hi thom.. i was gonna ask how is your pops doin?... childlike tears, nothin unnatural w/that... thank you for the nice comments always appreciated over on my side...

watermaid said...

I particularly like the first cinquain. You've used all three words to create a gem.