Monday's Fiction in 58

Fiction in 58 is something I came up with years ago to write concise stories with less words.

Unfaithful
He wears frustration like a cloak against the cold, balled fists under his chin as eyes stare into the broken concrete. He leans on a light post in the growing darkness, natural light swallowed whole by neon and fluorescents. He feels it. The key weighing heavy in his pocket.
Her key.
Waiting for his lover’s husband to leave.

3 comments:

Daily Panic said...

"The key weighing heavy in his pocket." that is a powerful line and sums up the whole situation that you built up with "frustration, cold, and swallowed natural light" very good.

Dee Martin said...

This is good - you can see and feel all of it. I've enjoyed trying to do these and I can see that I need to go from removing words to get the count down, to using less words to begin with.

quin browne said...

you always do this so perfectly.