The ring of the telephone

Brrrinnnnng.
“Hello?”
“I’m at Holiday.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s a gorgeous women here. She works here.”
“Is she a redhead?”
“Nooo. But she’s got these big, beautiful eyes.”
“OK. So why are you telling me this?”
“Because! You just can’t ask women out at Safeway, that’s what I’m trying to tell you! You have to find somebody who does all the things you do, a woman who is active and wants to be out there! You have to hang out and meet women who actually do things!”

(And I’m thinking, there are several decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as good as the real thing.)

“Uh, huh.”
“Seriously, you can’t get into something like (former wife’s name here), who says one thing but does another and the next thing you know, you’ll crawl back under a rock and we won’t see you ever again! We need you around!”
“Ok, point taken.”
“OK? OK. I gotta go.”
“Bye.”
“OK, bye.”

(Do you ever get the feeling that there's something going on that we don't know about?)