Deviant
“Is it wrong if I pray for someone to get a DUI and then have to live with all the fallout?” (Another uncomfortable silence.) (Now she’s tapping that goddamn pen.) (And adjusting her glasses. Again. Fuuuuuck.) “I’m not clergy.” “I didn’t ask if you were clergy.” (She’s pulling those ugly horned-rimmed glasses down her nose to give me ‘the look.’ Again.) “OK, OK, OK, let’s phrase this differently. Would I be considered a horrible person if I wished someone - a very specific someone - got pulled over for a DUI and then would be somewhat gleeful to watch as the consequences of driving while intoxicated unfolded around them?” “You are a horrible person. So, no wish away.” (Yes, I actually pay for these sessions. Therapy, am I right?) I am a professional deviant; some nowadays would call me a “disrupter.” I fuck with people. For money. Except, now, I hardly “get out more.” I mean, let’s face it, today’s world is different. A lot different. There weren't cameras everywhere, in ev...
