An Honest Assessment of an Interesting Question


This e-mail came in from a friend:

“You are not blogging much and you sound massively discontent. I always come back to the old cliché question: What would you do if you didn't have to worry about money? What really makes you happy? Anyway -- I've found that simply seeking an answer usually produces one... even if it is unexpected.”

I’ve responded to her personally, but it does beg a blog post. 

I am massively discontent – about 21 hours a day. There are times where I am content. Happy, even. It ebbs and flows and last seconds to even more than an hour. 

There are issues, personally and professionally. My health is suffering. 

But my heart suffers more. 

I realized – especially during my recent roadtrip through the Midwest – that what I am most lacking in is human contact. Sure, I have acquaintances  here, but I need more. 

And I need to write again – for myself. I need the balance between putting out a newspaper each week where every inch of copy crosses past my eyes and writing what’s in my heart, my head. 

Easier said than done. 

Plans have been formulated. Things I need to bring to fruition. 

And that’s the challenge. 

7 comments:

Dee Martin said...

I know I have been largely absent from 3ww but I do try to keep up with you and hope you don't mind, sending a few prayers your way.

gautami tripathy said...

I am going through discontent, if I can say so. I have not been writing or reading for that matter. I seem to be wasting my time.

I don't know what to do. Maybe reading your blog post, I now know. All of us, writers/poets need to rally for each other. And that might help all of us...

Hal Johnson said...

A hope a time of greater contentment comes to you, Thom, and a better season.

pia said...

Wow Thom! I have been facing my own demons. They're for another blog and my story

But friend understand that you're not alone--and I'm giggling as I'm reading your tweet about jail! (I find twitter to be a prison of the soul though I love the character restraints)

JeniMc said...

ah thom. plans have been formulated. i hope your time in the midwest with me had a positive impact on those plans. i'll start leaving out food for deer so trin will have some to play with if you come back here.

Rallentanda said...

You need to write for yourself. It is the only thing that will get you through this slump.Poem yourself to excess...let it pour out.

Meg said...

The double edge of technology is that it can end up being a poor substitute for the real connections we seek. I am one of your online "acquaintances", following your posts and tweets for several years now. It's easy to think you are doing fine when we see the regular "check-ins". It takes tuning in to a different frequency, like your friend who emailed, to clue us in on how you're really doing.

I believe we all have that artist's voice that asks, "am I writing enough, am I reading enough? Have I set aside enough of that sacred space and time for my art, my voice?" It's when the answer too frequently is the terse "not now" that causes us the greatest heartache.

The blessing of this technology is that your community is broad and diverse. You have so many who care about you, your influence is stronger than you know.

Know that we, your community of online friends and supporters, fellow writers, we understand. We also know the panacea is to make the time to write what is in your heart.

It's what heals.

Love,
Meg