Wednesday's Three Word Wednesday

The words over at Three Word Wednesday are harmless, moist, yelp. This bit of silliness is a re-write of a much smaller piece done a few years ago.


Dogcatcher
I awake with my face pressed up against wire mesh, completely wrecked, a splitting headache and dirty black hairs stuck to my moist, full lips.

I’m in a dog run, concrete floor, hurricane fence front. A water dish, upturned, and a food dish half-full of kibble in one corner. A ratty rug is bunched up in the opposite corner.

My stirring draws the attention of a rheumy-eyed Bassett hound next door.

“I say, could you please tell these good fellows that I am certainly not a stray,” he says. “I have a fine home. I just walked a wee bit too far a field. Here, good sir, take a look at these tags.”

His yelps get the young tawny-colored mutt in next run going.

“Dude, dude, hey dude,” he says. “It was a harmless little nibble, serious. I didn’t mean to bite her, really. But man, they taste good huh? I mean goooood. You’re hearin’ me huh? Goooood.”

I let out a hideous growl, low and throaty and both dogs, tails tucked, retreat to opposite corners. I walk back to the rug, un-bunch it, walk three times in a circle, curl up.

The sound of a single leather pump tapping on the concrete raises me from a fitful slumber. It’s my mother, standing with arms crossed, her mouth a stern line of red lipstick. She’s got a pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of flip-flops in a plastic bag at her feet.

I stretch, try to hide my nakedness.

“Boy, am I glad to see you,” I say, shaking my wild mane of tangled hair.

“Oh don’t give me that,” she says, waging a finger at me. “Fifty-six years and your father’s never once been picked up by the dogcatcher. I’m so ashamed.”

28 comments:

jaerose said...

You've given us more than a dog-tale..and I am trying to piece together the anomalies - the clothes in the bag, the 56 years...I feel exposed myself leaving the first comment..thank you for making me think...great write as ever..Jae

jaerose said...

Hmm a cup of tea later and now I'm thinking maybe there's a bit of werewolf action here..

pia said...

I enjoyed it. For somebody else it would be perfect. For you the writing is a bit too much, almost verging on the pretentious. Yet the story works and as I said for somebody else it would be amazing. But I love your writing because usually it's written down to the bone--not to make the worst pun in history

anthonynorth said...

Ah, sometimes a groaner is what counts :-)
Enjoyed it.

VL Sheridan said...

Bad dog! Children, pets, they both bring heart ache. Nice little giggle.

Deborah said...

You paint your scenes so well, and I'm with Jae, werewolf? brilliantly done, I loved it! :o)

Ramesh Sood said...

It was fun reading it..and wow, the last line..brilliant.. Thank You..for the prompts ..I don't know where they took me..but I poured out.. and I am feeling nice.. good challenge, dear..

lightverse said...

Just when I thought I 'got' it, I totally realized that I didn't! What a terrific read!

R.S. Bohn said...

LOL! I also thought I "got" it, until the last line snagged me up. Inventive and sharp, and I guess we're all thinking about dogs today, eh?

ameliacambiasamcspeak said...

A tale with agreat twist Love this Thom!

Jeni Mc said...

i got it. nice. you're alter animal ego sometimes takes over the pen. I think he is a far more light hearted fellow than yourself.

it hurts to laugh right now but I did :)

ladynimue said...

i had to read twice after you wrote of 56 years !! is it a human with disease to bite or a werewolf as others said ?

interesting !!

Mama Zen said...

How funny!

christopher said...

I'm not the only guy who went strange today!

Ren Thompson said...

Oh I like that LOL

JanePoet ~ Deborah said...

Love the play between human & canine. brilliant!

Nunee said...

This reminds me in a weird way of a movie called "The Shaggy DA." It brought back fond memories :) Enjoyed!

Rachel Blackbirdsong said...

Oh the shame! I love how this began and didn't see the ending coming at all. Now this is some great storytelling.

oldegg said...

I really enjoy an good dog tail, especially on the full moon.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Fun stuff, as always!

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

I like the way you played games with my thought, I was sure I got you then you turned on me

Altonian said...

I think this can be considered a real 'shaggy dog story'. Loved it; loved it.

Altonian

Lilibeth said...

I guess it's not always like father-like son...or like hound-like pup.

laradunning said...

I'm not sure I got this one. Is he human, dog, werewolf, or turns into a dog? The end made me think he was human, a dog really does not need to cover his nakedness. Would love to read more and figure it out.

Valerie said...

I was worried about where this might be going so the twist was a relief. Kid needs to watch himself!

Zouxzoux said...

Hilarious!

Jane Doe said...

That was great, I loved the ending!

Grandma's Goulash said...

Easy to get caught up in the story, but I fear I didn't get the ending. My fault I'm sure. Grandma's kind of a simple gal.