Keep those eyes and ears open

Seen and heard the past couple of days:

I’m driving home from work and I pass a 76 gas station. This is one of the last full-service gas stations that I know of around here. For years, they’ve had this big billboard where you could request birthday greetings, wedding announcements, funning and uplifting sayings.
The station when through a complete refit recently. The old orange billboard gone, but they out up a new one on the gas price sign.
Here’s what was on the sign last night:
He can lick can also bite.”

I’m in the car again, listening to bad local FM radio (oh, how I want Sirius Satellite Radio). On comes a commercial for a Lutheran grade school:
“Little Natalie knows all seven continents; she also knows her purpose on this Earth.”
I need to enroll. I’m 43 and I’ve got no fucking clue what I’m doing here.

On the river trail today, in a brief respite between rainstorms:
Why can’t we drive?” a child of like 5 asks his mother.
“Because, that would defeat the purpose of walking on the river trail.”