Toilet tissue trashers from hell

You’d think, since she’s not changed her basic disposition in 12 years, that I’d be the one to learn and adapt.
But no.
I got up early to get to the Certified Farmers Market (go late and you miss out on the Egg Lady’s eggs), fed the dogs, made coffee and got ready to go.
I decided to let the girls, Trinity and Scully, remain out of their kennels.
I mean, how much trouble could they get into in the 42 minutes I was at the market?
Scully is a longtime trash addict. She’s been plucking stuff from trashcans for 12 years.
Used tissues are her crack cocaine.
And with this cold, my trash is filled with her drug of choice.
I thought I had all the doors closed to the bathrooms and my bedroom.
Forgot to check the back bathroom.
I walked in from the market (eggs and a whole round of whole-milk cheese) to a pile of chewed up trash.
It must have been quite a feeding frenzy.
The cats took the brand-spanking-new roll of toilet paper I put in the bathroom and shredded it.
From one end of the kitchen to the other. What was left of the roll was soaking up water in their communal bowl.
All four of them, two cats and two dogs, were lined up in the living room.
Looking into the kitchen.
Waiting for a reaction.
And I swear, they were all smiling.