Derogatory haikus for everyday situations
Here are some derogatory haikus for everyday situations, submitted by readers.
I am a disturbed individual, I know.
For Carl:
You want it when? Fuck!
It’s not like we planned ahead
Next, you’ll want my spleen
Hey, it’s not our fault
Swear donkeys and elephants
Ooohhh, look – it’s Britney
Big truck grease my hip
Chissakes, I’m on a bicycle!
Ice picks do great harm
I must say, I had a lot of fun with R&R’s situations (and yes, I couldn’t pass up the wedding of the year):
Knock, knock, who is there?
It’s the asshole from downstairs
Shove a sock in it
Troll from down below
Sissy pansy man with sounds
Consummation’s coming!
(This one’s for the future Mr. & Mrs.):
Headboard bangs and bangs
Brit complains about the noise
Really, it’s the dog
Welcome to Shell Oil
Badges, we need no badges!
Just wear the damn thing
Write my name, what for?
To conduct your business, ass
Now be off with you
“FUCK!” from down the hall
Wait for the silly guffaw
Asshole does no work
Trucks down the hallway
Cops a smoke, but never eats
Jerk’s an autobot!
Paper Mache head
Nothing says pure and true love
Like Darth Vader’s skull
Ninja love is slick
Marriage should be forever
Odds are not so good
In karate duds
Bride and groom profess their love
We give it six months
She presents a staff
Groom wears a sword for fucksakes!
High karate love
And a bonus one, for First Sister, who called this in:
One controlling bitch
Soccer queen makes me crazy
Kick her ball-like ass
If pornographic haikus are your thing - and I admit, it's an acquired taste - you might want to check out Banana Smoothie.
I am a disturbed individual, I know.
For Carl:
You want it when? Fuck!
It’s not like we planned ahead
Next, you’ll want my spleen
Hey, it’s not our fault
Swear donkeys and elephants
Ooohhh, look – it’s Britney
Big truck grease my hip
Chissakes, I’m on a bicycle!
Ice picks do great harm
I must say, I had a lot of fun with R&R’s situations (and yes, I couldn’t pass up the wedding of the year):
Knock, knock, who is there?
It’s the asshole from downstairs
Shove a sock in it
Troll from down below
Sissy pansy man with sounds
Consummation’s coming!
(This one’s for the future Mr. & Mrs.):
Headboard bangs and bangs
Brit complains about the noise
Really, it’s the dog
Welcome to Shell Oil
Badges, we need no badges!
Just wear the damn thing
Write my name, what for?
To conduct your business, ass
Now be off with you
“FUCK!” from down the hall
Wait for the silly guffaw
Asshole does no work
Trucks down the hallway
Cops a smoke, but never eats
Jerk’s an autobot!
Paper Mache head
Nothing says pure and true love
Like Darth Vader’s skull
Ninja love is slick
Marriage should be forever
Odds are not so good
In karate duds
Bride and groom profess their love
We give it six months
She presents a staff
Groom wears a sword for fucksakes!
High karate love
And a bonus one, for First Sister, who called this in:
One controlling bitch
Soccer queen makes me crazy
Kick her ball-like ass
If pornographic haikus are your thing - and I admit, it's an acquired taste - you might want to check out Banana Smoothie.
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