Wednesday's Three Word Wednesday
The words over at Three Word Wednesday are lucid, righteous and salvage.
Mind Your Elders
There were moments when she was at her most lucid; details spilled from her painted lips like a powerful, frothy waterfall. She’d sit in a decrepit wingback chair near the windows and soak up the sun like a houseplant.
The rays made her talkative. Those were the days when someone should have been listening, recording maybe, since she was one of the righteous. A chosen soldier whose only crime was to grow old and frail.
The staff, in their white jumpsuits and crinkled paper hats, would spread a courteous smile when passing the talking elderly, prattling on about lives lived, things seen, deeds done. They may pat a hand, or touch their cold fingers on a shoulder, but listening was out of the question. Time moves forward and these wards of the state were the past.
So she continued to bemuse no one from the seat divots in her comfy chair, pausing every so often to tap a still-manicured nail against her front teeth, cluck her tongue and utter a soft, “Uh, uh uh,” when no one stopped to soak up the lessons she broadcast daily as her mind cleared from the I.V. drip they used to tether her to the steel-and-plastic hospital bed.
She had never found the time to have children and watched from her chair as her kin withered and disappeared. She knew not what became of the others, the elders, the keepers of knowledge, nor could she assess whether they had been able to disseminate their common message to the masses that seemed to preoccupied to care.
It had been years since they’d let her near a terminal, let alone a comm device.
So she broadcast in a small voice from that stained brown chair, a musty relic of a time past, and tried to salvage this world from its unavoidable collapse.
Mind Your Elders
There were moments when she was at her most lucid; details spilled from her painted lips like a powerful, frothy waterfall. She’d sit in a decrepit wingback chair near the windows and soak up the sun like a houseplant.
The rays made her talkative. Those were the days when someone should have been listening, recording maybe, since she was one of the righteous. A chosen soldier whose only crime was to grow old and frail.
The staff, in their white jumpsuits and crinkled paper hats, would spread a courteous smile when passing the talking elderly, prattling on about lives lived, things seen, deeds done. They may pat a hand, or touch their cold fingers on a shoulder, but listening was out of the question. Time moves forward and these wards of the state were the past.
So she continued to bemuse no one from the seat divots in her comfy chair, pausing every so often to tap a still-manicured nail against her front teeth, cluck her tongue and utter a soft, “Uh, uh uh,” when no one stopped to soak up the lessons she broadcast daily as her mind cleared from the I.V. drip they used to tether her to the steel-and-plastic hospital bed.
She had never found the time to have children and watched from her chair as her kin withered and disappeared. She knew not what became of the others, the elders, the keepers of knowledge, nor could she assess whether they had been able to disseminate their common message to the masses that seemed to preoccupied to care.
It had been years since they’d let her near a terminal, let alone a comm device.
So she broadcast in a small voice from that stained brown chair, a musty relic of a time past, and tried to salvage this world from its unavoidable collapse.
Comments
I especially liked the final paragraph - I wondered if you could have opened with the same, or a very similar, sentence.
Lucid Picture
Winged Writer
Somebody has to tell it like it is, Nicely Thom!!
Great read Tom!
Really Thom, this is really GOOD, but really, fix the typos.
http://gildorianne.blogspot.com/2010/02/prayer-for-my-last-days.html
Powerful piece about being elderly. Very sad and loaded with true-isms.
-Tim
I feel for her and was so moved by your well told tale.
I've gone a long time away from the eworld, again, and thanks for the words; these ones, this week, and the ones that arrived a few weeks ago...
I am going to continue Peggy's beat down, especially because I know what the normal is, for you.
"...when no one stopped to soak up the lessons she broadcast daily as her mind cleared from the I.V. drip they used to tethered her to the steel-and-plastic hospital bed."
I would bet money that you meant "tether", for example, rather than tethered.
But, really, this just tells me that you are super busy this week. And, possibly, stressed.
And I take off when things go a bit crazy whilst you keep putting your time and energy out here to all of us.
(And I start sentences with "and", sometimes, also.)
I have tended a couple of sites a couple of times... and I am delighted each time to return the responsibility.
Which is my way of saying don't sweat the typos too much. As long as you don't make them... :) Or leave them around... Who knows when fortune will be knocking on your site, no?
Anyway, back to comments that are on point.
Here is my take on why I like this piece...
I completely get your 'mind your elders' schtick and the poignancy and the tragedy tralala.
But, I keep wondering about the word choices that you have used to describe your elder's past.
And I know what a wordsmith you are, but, even if I didn't know that, your word choices stop me time and again and disrupt the empathy that seems the natural and normal end product of this type of story.
And I keep wondering what this soldier's back story is. She was powerful. She disseminated knowledge to the masses, presumably whether they wanted it or not.
I keep imagining her as a Gang of Four member. Or as a Honecker. Or somebody else nasty.
And my sympathy gets tempered right quick.
And the fact that I keep wondering and filling in backstory and conjecturing and wanting to know more... that is what makes me feel that this is another ThomG piece.
So, kudos.
Tschuess,
Chris
I was a bit confused though about her being in a chair for most of the tale and then being tethered to a hospital bed. Might be just my tired brain though. It's good to be back from the land of techno - dweebs (of which I am one!). Now to start reading the other posts!