It would creep me out, a little
This began with two words written in a notebook sometime in the dark of the early morning.
Lunch Lady
The Lunch Lady had a mustache, and we’re not just talking about a few dark hairs under her lip or anything, this thing was full, black and curly – a real ‘stache.
She actually groomed it, trimmed and cared for it in the style of a young Billy Dee Williams as if she were playing Lando Calrissian herself in Star Wars.
You’d walk with your tray through the line and there she was, always waiting to dish up whatever the main entrée was and you’d look anywhere but at her upper lip.
Sarah Sanderson, who was the most developed – and thus the most adventurous - of the eighth-grade class, told us what it was like to kiss someone with a mustache.
“It tickles, but not in a good way; it’s creepy and you have to get used to it.”
After that revelation, more than 60 quietly homophobic boys decided that brown-bagging it was just about the coolest thing they’d ever come up with – and took their meals in the commons, even on the days when rain threatened to chase them into the cafeteria.
Lunch Lady
The Lunch Lady had a mustache, and we’re not just talking about a few dark hairs under her lip or anything, this thing was full, black and curly – a real ‘stache.
She actually groomed it, trimmed and cared for it in the style of a young Billy Dee Williams as if she were playing Lando Calrissian herself in Star Wars.
You’d walk with your tray through the line and there she was, always waiting to dish up whatever the main entrée was and you’d look anywhere but at her upper lip.
Sarah Sanderson, who was the most developed – and thus the most adventurous - of the eighth-grade class, told us what it was like to kiss someone with a mustache.
“It tickles, but not in a good way; it’s creepy and you have to get used to it.”
After that revelation, more than 60 quietly homophobic boys decided that brown-bagging it was just about the coolest thing they’d ever come up with – and took their meals in the commons, even on the days when rain threatened to chase them into the cafeteria.
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