Life, in and out of focus

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

- Abraham Lincoln

I think way too much about life. My life. What’s going on with my life.
What’s next. What was.
It is the season, I guess. The holidays, the end of one year, the beginning of another. The chance to reassess, plot, plan, scheme.

I worked on my 43 Things Sunday night; I deleted Things I’d accomplished and a few Things that I decided didn’t fit the “New Game Plan” (buying a new house doesn’t much fit any longer).
I thought about what I wanted to accomplish in 2008 and beyond. I thought about big goals and small triumphs. I thought abut where I wanted to be a year from now – and what changes I would have to enact, what sacrifices I would need to make – to draw up the new list.

Too bad life doesn’t come with instructions. You think one day that this goal seems pretty logical – trek in Nepal – and 365 days later you take it off he list (for the time being) because you’re having trouble deciding to buy groceries or gas with the money that’s budgeted.
Besides, if life came with instructions, they’d be weird.
“Do not take life is you suffer from anxiety of a low threshold of pain; life may cause periods of drowsiness; life also may cause periods of extreme adrenaline rush; stop taking life if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours.”

For a time, when he skies were still dark and there wasn’t a hint of the coming sunrise, I worked on my 43 Things. I didn’t get so much depressed and I did overwhelmed. I went back to bed to ponder. Think some more about what I want out of this life.
I want it to count for something, sure. I want to make some difference, even if that difference is small.
I want mostly to be happy. To project that happiness to others.
To live.
The best possible life I can.