Got your goat

"For .22s, they make what's called rat shot. It's not a very powerful load. Then I went out and popped all my goats in the butt with it, to get them back into their pen. Now all I have to do is (claps his hands together, loud) and they run back to their pen. You feel like a deity, very God-like."

You can't go wrong with a good goat story.
Or two.
Because everyone thinks goats are cute.
They are, but they're much more.

Went to a pity/birthday party Saturday night for a friend. She just turned 40 and had surgery to repair her shoulder. Drinks, dinner, great conversation.
Much of it centered on goats.
Well, for a time there, late, we were listening to our professor friend tell us about all his goat adventures.
It was hilarious.
He's taking a sabbatical and moving. And taking two horses, five dogs (not one a herder), a llama and four goats with him.
"I dunno about the hornless one. Bastard. He can jump 4-foot fences."
He told us about trying to catch the bastard, hornless goat with a noose near the horse pen.
"I don't want to talk about it. There are scars on my arm. He drug me through the horse pen."

His neighbor was excited when he brought the goats home.
"Goats!" he said. "But after a while, they weren't so excited. The goats keep eating their pot plants."
Goats eat anything.
"You're right, just like locusts. Bark off the trees, everything."
And it is hard to keep them contained.
"I went through a ton of money with electric fences. They decided they could take a zap or two. 'All we have to do is get zapped, and we're on the other side of the fence.' They're smart."
There are companies that move goats from one place to another to eat noxious weeds.
"This company came to Berkeley to work on the grounds," he said. "The groundskeepers are all union and complained that they were taking union jobs. The company signed every goat up - 1,000 of them - as union members. Since all it said was that you had to pay $5 to join. Diddn't say you had to be a human."
"Each of them got a little Union YES! T-Shirt," I said.
"Exactly."

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