True tales of animal sex

I saw coyotes. Fucking.
Notice I didn’t say, “I saw some fucking coyotes.”
We actually saw them in the act.
Well, sorta.
My mates and I were hiking in Upper Bidwell Park (the ninth-largest municipal park in the United States; it is bigger than New York’s Central Park) when David saw the coyote across a draw.
“He doesn’t see us,” he said. “With the wind, he can’t smell us either.”
We watched for several minutes, but as we watched, something just seemed out of place. The coyote kept looking at us, it knew we were there. But it didn’t budge.
We moved on along the trail – and stopped.
“Hey, that’s two coyotes,” I said.
What’s more, they were standing butt-to-butt. Just looking at us.
“Holy shit, they’re stuck,” Tom said.
And that’s when they really saw us.
And started running in opposite directions, literally digging their paws into the lava-rock-strewn hillside.
Attached – wait for it….by the PENIS – together.
I fully expected an animated balloon to show up above the couple, with some like PING! or BOING! in it.
Finally, the pair separated – and took off in two different directions.
It left us to ponder – and grab out own doodles (and come up with appropriate double-sided dildo jokes almost immediately).
“Dude, that fucking had to hurt,” Jason said.
“Him or her?” David said.
“Both,” I said. “Ouch. Ouch, ouch ouch.”
Tom was writing a short travel piece for his newspaper on our hike (before the debauchery started at the bar started with football, wings and beer).
“How, exactly, are you going to add that to you piece?” I asked.
He was stumped.
We all were.
“I could live to be 100 and never see that again,” Tom said.
True, true.
It was most amazing – and witnessed by five people. It happened – and we saw it.
And we laughed. We’re still laughing today.
“Coyotes gets stuck fucking. You do not. You are better than the coyote.”