Kiss your ass goodbye

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Supposedly, there’s a comet fragment headed our way.
And it’s supposed to hit in the Atlantic Ocean on Thursday (or thereabouts).
It's as big as a truck.
And astronomers (those pesky real scientists) can't see it.
But the government doesn't want you to know anyway. They'd rather you die with the passivity of sheep.
Pucker up.
Bend over.
Kiss that ass goodbye.
Eric Julien, a former French military air traffic controller and senior airport manager, says a piece of comet 73P Schwassmann-Wachmann is headed our way. Julien says the impact is gonna cause 200 meter waves (that’s 656 feet to our metric-phobic friends).
That’s a lot of water.
Of course, Julien is French and remember our motto here at Surface Tension: “Fuck the French!”
And don’t pay any attention to the fact that Julien says “beings of higher intelligence” dropped hints in crop circles that this was coming.
Yes, crop circles.
In 1995, according to Julien, a crop circle appeared showing the inner solar system with the Earth missing from its orbit. He argues the "Missing Earth" crop circle was a message from higher intelligences warning humanity of the consequences of its destructive nuclear policies.
Uh, huh.
You can check it out for yourself at www.savelivesinmay.com.
We’ve got two days to live.
Party’s at my house on Saturday. BYOB.