Cool sadness

The cool sadness is the worst. The near lack of feelings, the emptiness. You’d think that would be preferable to a veil of tears, but no. It’s like a capped bottle that life keeps shaking. It’s bound to burst, spewing a frothy flow over everything. For now, it’s kept in.
Friends pat your back and ask if everything’s OK. Yes. And no. It’s the cool sadness that disturbs everyone. Like a painting, a locked little smile, thin lips, maintain.
Nothing tastes good. Eat, drink, walk, talk. Maintain. Everyone expects it. The banter, the smart-assed wisecracks, the one-liners.
It helps, being normal – or as normal as it gets. Function, find things to do. Don’t rush to any judgments. Not quite yet.
Give this place a chance. At least for the next few months. Talk it out. Recycle back into the world.


Janet Jarrell said...

I can identify. It is at these times when everyone says to me 'You are strong. You can handle anything' that I tend to sneak into the comfort of my bed...

gautami tripathy said...

Recycling back is not easy but it eases with time. Hope that makes sense.

Donna said...

Yeah, really, we don't like stuff that disturbs us, so if you'd ditch the cool sadness and get back to the normal smart-ass wisecracks and banter, we'd all feel a lot better ... and then we wouldn't keep asking you if everything's okay.

Oh yeah, and listen to us, even though we totally contradict each other sometimes.


Bottom line - everything you do is the right thing to do at the time you're doing it. Whether it hinders or helps your progression, might be another story, but it's the right thing at the time you're doing it.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

It's normal at times like this to feel like the rest of the world is behind glass, visible but not fully accessible. Everyone has to make this journey, or opt out by dying young.

Sucky choices, huh?

Dee Martin said...

I got nothin - just a hug